Definitive Proof, Because I Said So!

I am Anna Nicole Smith's baby's father! Okay, America, lavish me with fame and fortune! Or just fortune, your choice. Arrange for me a talk-show circuit and a book deal I want rights to the movie and merchandising too (perhaps a bobble head so that I can match A.N.S. herself). Oh, and a cool-dude entourage, and an Escalade. I know how this gig works! Oh and that other guy? The one who's suing $10m for character defamation because it was said that there's no way he could be the father? Take that as a lesson, man. Don't tell me whose father I can and can't be! For all you know I could your father, America.

Jimmy Kimmel (in a rare case where I agreed with him) said that everyone associated with television should be ashamed of themselves. In fact, even the people that supply electricity to television should be ashamed. When TV is knocking TV on the head, perhaps it's time to take notice.

At what point does all the trivial emptiness implode on itself? Do people honestly care that much? And if they do, why are they allowed to continue to consume perfectly good oxygen? At what point do either the audience or the entertainers realise that they're propagating the biggest waste of time, money and energy in history? And who's losing sleep on the biggest unasked question of all: "How are we going to top this when Kato Kaelin dies?"

In other news, CNN said-- sorry, my bad. According to CNN, there is no other news...

Welcome to my 100th Post!

Maybe that's a really ambiguous 'anniversary' to celebrate. But seriously, any effort of mine that has been (however sporatically) sustained to the point where I've reached 100 of anything is worthy of at least mentioning. I hope you agree. If not simply skip off to read something else. Pretty graphic though, eh? Thanks, I--

Oh you're already reading something else...

My Kind of Bumper Sticker Theology

When God locks a door, He breaks a window.

An Intellectual Onomatopoeia

I was in a discussion recently where the word "visionary" was used. As in, "We're not visionary because we didn't do such-and-such." And the point was raised that we didn't know what the vision actually was. What is the tangible thing that you can latch on to with "visionary"? Trick question. There isn't. It's like abstract: it is what it describes. Go on, try and define abstract concretely (ie without being abstract). Give up yet? How 'bout now? Okay stop before you hurt yourself. It's an intellectual onomatopoeia.

Are you still trying?

In Quotes

I was asking about some of the differences between the Dodge small block and the Chevy small block, and my buddy answered: "Any engine that's running is as reliable as any other".

Favourite New "Insulpliment"

I just got called a "wierd magnet". If I was the tattooing kind, I think that would go on my forehead!